Why do i feel like dying everytime you leave.

seriously i think i need to see a psychologist.
I can't seem to control my emotion properly. I do not act according to my heart.
I know I want you to be happy but I just can't help feeling sorry for myself while honestly I don't mind if I'm the one feeling miserable.
I know I'm already the princess but I just can't help thinking that your friends and family are always placed before me while honestly I'm contented with the priority you always give. Actually I'm glad that you're a family-oriented man, and you indeed have a lot of good friends who care for you.
I know how suffocating it is to let self-pity ongoing all the time but I just can't help making myself breathless over missing you, no matter how much I convince myself about how fast 2 months will pass.
I'm going crazy!
I'm afraid one day I'll break down and let go again.
I know I definitely don't want to.
but what if, that one time, I do not act according to my heart again.

but seriously I feel like dying now.
:(