honesty really is the only tenable policy.

this is such a sad blog.

my facebook wall is such a happy wall.

my msn shout out is a mix of both.

don't shout.

though we're so far apart i can still hear you.

don't have to shout.

everyone's door is closed with guys slippers outside their room.

i'm always the one alone.

i wish u were here

別說對不起 別讓我灰了心
才說不是故意 我卻無法怪你
別說對不起 別讓我的愛情變得 小心翼翼 我卻只能愛你
用行動來證明 你的決心 不要說說而已 我想要的不只是sorry

5th sept 2010 - 3.04am

just because i am not a christian.

that 8 letters, 3 words on sms

also means

shut the fuck up and stop bothering me.

there's a reason why i can take on a roller coaster ride of high intensity without whimpering at all.

i am not proud of it. i hate it.

i hope one day i can scream as loud as i want on a roller coaster ride.

happy.

:)

birthday song.

something that i can sing so comfortably to my family, boyfriend, friends, friend's friends, or even strangers (on the stage, of course)

but not something i could accept so comfortably from someone else.

y m i so utterly shy when people around me burst into a birthday song with my name inside?? eeeee...


nonetheless,

thank you, lovely people :)

it's very very very sweet of you guys :):):)

10 days.

i can't wait anymore.

i hate counting down. not to the day u're coming back, but to the day u're going off again.

can i don't? :(

both are Wongs.

but one is a slut, another is a darling.

LOL.

so obviously these Wongs are not related.

i love sharon wong <3<3<3

at times when i thought u've changed

i guess

maybe i've changed too.

12 days.

It is often good to have things to look forward to :)

Life's getting back on track. and better.

Hello friends, you guys are awesome.

Hello mom, you are awesome too :)

thank you and love you! x

Ian (21st june 2010, 2.04am):

any more ppl in hall bully you call me

i go down and fuck them



meant so much to me :)

My expectation has never changed

but my endurance reaches its limit

I know you've said it for a thousand times

but

I still secretly relish the slightest comfort i can find in your words.

Somehow i just need reassurance.

hello excuse me you're becoming OVER assertive.

since when.

and why?

note to self: tone down down down down.

9 letters, 3 words -

" 现在的自己，
我们可是用许多的眼泪换回来的。"

why do i feel a stab in the heart when i saw this.

think about

why world weary

but not wise.

:(

been

indulging

a little

too much

in

self-pity

i'm lying.

distance is a barrier.

There are simply too many

what-if-i-were-there-not-here

in my life.

It's amazing, to witness the work carried out live behind the scene instead of watching sports broadcast live on TV all the time. If it wasn't SYOGOC, I would probably end up not watching the 1st Youth Olympics on TV at all. Now I could even be part of the organizing committee, to see structures being built on bare grounds, to see the illustrations on the blueprints being converted into something physical, to see how basements are transformed into functional rooms, to imagine the gymnasts in colourful leotards doing their routines while standing on the competition field of play itself.



Bishan Sports hall







The gymnastics floor! :D:D:D

Singapore Sports School





Some camwhoring while my supervisor is not watching :p


baby butterfly talking to me :)


Perfect weather for suntanning. not my thing though :/

National Sailing Centre






Looking forward to more excitement to come!

Saturdays will definitely be better,

if you're here.

87 days to the 1st youth olympics in the world!



3rd day at work, been seeing alot of things and also slacking alot too.

hmmm... perhaps i should start blogging about what i learn everyday?

HAHA. macam so hardworking only.

kthxbye

it's such a Cliché to say 'time flies', but it's true.

one moment I was strolling along the streets in Edinburgh enjoying the chilly summer breeze and the next moment I'm here, anticipating the first day of my internship, it's summer break again.

one year has passed. and it hit me when my last exam ended last week - I'm now a final year student. I've been in Singapore for 3 years already! *gasp* I tell you it really seems like yesterday when I left good old melaka with all my barang-barang to start my new chapter of life here.

3-years-time is suffice to transform a person. I know i have changed so much, some areas for the better and some for the worse i guess? perhaps more for the better. but it's none of your business. because you don't care. haha..

anyways, I may not have been the best person back then, but right now I'm definitely a better person. as i said, time flies. as time flies, it changes people too :)

Truly a blessing in disguise :)

SYOGOC FTW!!! :D

Happy birthday (:

now that u're 23, I can't wait for you to turn 24 because I've missed your 21st, 22nd and 23rd birthday celebrations, I can't bear to miss another one!

xoxo

太阳天或下雨天
人挤人的咖啡店
找一个能想你舒服的角落
看着情人肩靠肩 慢慢转开我视线
yeh yeh~~ 有个女孩让我好想念
我的心 已经飞到这个城市的另一边
想看着你 我爱的脸
把心里的感情 都对你说

那马路上天天都在塞 而每个人天天在忍耐
没有你的日子很黑白 原来这样就是恋爱
我想要你在我身边 分享生命中的一切
我想要天天说天天说 天天对你说我有多爱你
BABY~~~~

tell me if u still feel this way

I may not have expressed it,

maybe never

but

I have missed you.

I hope you are good.

Worth it or not.

When good days are getting lesser. and shorter.

happy 26th month.

It came all tumbling down.

First time. out of the 4 walls. out of the closed door.

I hate it when i cry like a baby. people see.

I'm so tired of quarreling over skype. over the stupid phone calls.

I'm starting to give up.

TGIO.

I survived.

Maybe i shouldn't have been here at the first place.

why fought so hard.

it's not worth it anyways.

so not worth it.

It is 3 times more heart-breaking to quarrel over the phone than to quarrel face-to-face.

An Inspirational Story, Motivational Story -
A Wake Up Call
by Catherine Pulsifer

The story below is a true story that happened in September.

During the month of September, a dear friend of mine lost her husband suddenly in an accident. The tragedy was a shock to everyone.

This accident was sudden and certainly unexpected. It drove home the realization that you just don't know when a loved one is no longer going to be with you. We sometimes take our love ones for granted, and we expect that they will be with us forever. However, as we all know, life does not work that way and sometimes we get a wake up call that shocks us and makes us stand back and realize how short life is.

In consoling her, I tried to imagine if I was in her shoes how would I feel. It was impossible to imagine what she was going through. What words do I say to help her?

Sometimes words just can not express our feelings. Sometimes our actions are much more meaningful than words. A hug can sometimes express more than our words will ever express. Sometimes, just being there to listen is more meaningful and helpful to people.

A SECOND WAKE UP CALL,

As I was leaving the funeral parlor, I ran into a Marilyn. (Marilyn has been a true friend to me over the years. She is one of those friends who is with you in the good times and is always by your side in the bad times. She has a sense of humor that makes everyone laugh and she makes everyone feel at ease.) We chit chatted for a few moments, and then she asked me how my job was. So I started talking and talking and talking (am sure she wished she had never asked, ha) I was having a stressful week with my job and I was telling her all the issues and how I was feeling. She listened to me as I was raving about my frustrations, then without saying a word, she took her hands and placed them on my face, and said to me,
"But at least you had a day."

The touch of her hands on my cheeks, the calmness in her voice, and the words she spoke,
"BUT AT LEAST YOU HAD A DAY",
hit me like a ton of bricks. All the frustrations, all the stress that was building up inside of me - came to a complete stop.

Since that day, when I start feeling stressed, I remind myself of Marilyn's words - but at least I had a day! Things could be a lot worse, the stress of the situation always could be worse, but I am alive and I have a lot to be thankful for - so I shall not waste my days with stress and frustrations - Life is too short!

What doesn't kill you make you stronger.

I am definitely stronger tomorrow.

I don't know how many times I've experienced this.

Perhaps true friendship between a guy and a girl doesn't exist.
Why can't I ever prove it otherwise.

Sucks.

It's been so long since I had the time to read up the things I like. Things that I've always wanted to read, but had to be put aside. Too many of them.

It's funny how I always plunk my head into commitments with all my courage and ended up hoping that everything will be over soon. But I must say I've never regretted. I know this time I won't too. Though I'm literally going through hell this semester. Juggling so many things with two hands, one exhausted body and a weary mind. I can't wait to say goodbye to the commitments and obligations. I also can't wait to see how much I've grown. I hope I will be a better person by then :)

Thank god for the blessing in disguise. I need to work harder.
because I don't want to let myself down again. I don't want to let you down.
I want to be as good as you.

4 weeks till the end of my year3.

I need to buck up.

I make mistakes.I have regrets.I hate being alone.I hate school.I don’t like being wrong.I act like I’m a lot tougher than I am.I hate being ignored. I cry. I’m shy.I get annoyed by people too easily.I have enemies. I miss home.

Stop crying so easily.

Why are you so weak.

why am i alone again even when u're back.

Look into the eyes of two different girls. one is single, another one is attached, but with her boyfriend half the globe away from her.

What is the similarity?

You see loneliness in their eyes.

What is the difference?

The latter is lonelier than the former.

Traveled from Melaka to Singapore. Didnt sleep, for the first time, throughout the journey. I reckon I should write down some resolutions for this year, so that whenever I do self-reflection(if i ever do any lar hor), I'll get to see how much I've changed for the better.

1. Improve my EQ.
Work towards a stable emotion,less defensive, more listening and patience. No more yelling when I'm pissed. No more vulgarities while quarreling online :/

2. To not bitch/gossip about people so much.
ok, i admit that i have problems kicking this habit of mine, but it is something which i find the most difficult to part with. come on, gossiping and bitching are what bond my friends and i together. so, it is definitely difficult to kick this habit entirely. but i have come to realize that there is a difference between healthy bitching and unhealthy bitching. healthy bitching: bitch when necessary, and not tarnish that person’s reputation. unhealthy bitching: bitch like nobody’s business, as if you are always right, and this form of bitching ruins your reputation the most. ok i admit, i have always been performing the latter form of bitching, but i have been trying to transit to the former form of bitching, which till date is quite successful. so yep, NO MORE UNHEALTHY BITCHING!
- Credit to Sherry, one of my fav girls :)

3. More patience and love to mommy
If I can treat my friends well, why can't I treat my own mommy equally well? :/

4. Go home more often
So that I don't have to feel guilty whenever darren's back and I have to straddle between Seremban and Melaka! HAHA okay it's true but I would also love to spend more time with my family and pudding.

okayyy that's kinda all.

I'll leave "lead a humane sleeping pattern" till next year, when I m no longer a JCRC and is free from obligation to attend meetings at odd hours.

The time traveler's wife

Watched time traveler's wife today. I liked the concept, but I wasn't convinced. I hope it could have been more clearly explained. Or maybe I'm just too stupid to understand the movie. HAHA.

I do feel a lot for Claire though.
Because I'm kinda like a time traveler's wife too - not seeing mr.boyfriend often, not knowing when he's gonna pop by again. I'm so much luckier than Claire. At least I won't suddenly see him appearing out of nowhere, naked and shot. at least we get to talk on the phone. at least he says goodbye whenever he leaves.

Tho I don't always get to see mr. boyfriend, but everytime we meet, it is the best damn feeling ever. :)

Guess this is what makes me hang on for so long. because I know we'll pull through. Just like how Claire and Henry did.

Good night, imaginary boyfriend.

You're not here when I'm upset or happy.
You're not here when it's christmas or new year.

But I still love you nonetheless.

From,

Lonely girl